My Unborn Baby

I killed my unborn baby.

In a dream that transformed into a nightmare.

He laid upon my arms as I cradled his tiny, fragile body.

His head rested upon my chest.

His cheeks softly pressed against my skin.

Our bodies, were connected as one.

I rocked him ever so gently.

He awakened, suddenly rustling in my arms

                                                                  diaper full and dirty.

I stood up carrying him to a narrow, never ending hallway that was

                                                                             our destination.

He weighed nothing.

                    As he shrunk unknowingly before my eyes.

I found him inside  his over sized diaper.

Drowned and already dead.

His head grotesquely covered in yellow and brown creamy disgusting chunks.

                                                                       My heart fell silent.

                     I sensed his breaths gone.

I pressed my lips against his

                                                        over                   and                   over             again.

I tried to exhale my oxygen into him.

I didn’t want to give up

                                   but I stopped.

I stood there right by him

                                  time seemed infinitely far.

There was nothing that mattered anymore.

I felt                        heavy,                sick,                          lost,                                  weak.

I wanted to scream but

                                                                    I woke up.


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