Much needed self care <3

I was feeling low yesterday. I felt cooped up in the house. Therefore, I thought to myself… What makes me happy? Or where?

Thus, I decided I would take a mini road trip to the BEACH! I packed a towel, my book, and extra clothes just in case.

Then I just kept driving….

The closest to my residence was Mashes Sands Beach, Panacea, Florida.

It was worth the 1 hour and about 20 minutes drive.

The air was fresh, the sand felt nice on my feet and hands…. The ocean smelled salty and felt cool.

Indy tagged a long

He frolicked in the water and rolled in the sands. He was so happy!

I too walked through the waters and felt the cold wind blow through my hair. Twas a good day

COOOKIEEESSS!!!

COOKIES!!!!!

I have a sweet tooth. I admit to craving chocolate at weird hours of the night or anytime throughout the day when my tummy grumbles.

Therefore, I thought I should bake some goodies. I usually don’t like to feel too guilty after consuming such delicious desserts. SO I decided to create my first batch of Cranberry Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies!

I found an easy recipe online and altered a few of its ingredients… followed the directions meticulously. There was no way I was going to screw this up. Plus, I only had one egg left in the fridge. Burnt cookies were not an option.

And GUESS WHATTT?! They turned out wayyyyyy better than I expected.

This is the girl who burnt lumpia (egg rolls) and started a fire in the kitchen when she was 15 years old.

Now here I am, a happy woman who can bake some god dam seriouslyyy delicious cookies!!! And they had no butter!!

My heart was filled with joy as I bit into that first warm chewy and just-right crunch cookie. I patted myself on the back, for real!

Click here and you can share my enjoyment!

http://racheleatingraisins.blogspot.com/2012/04/seriouslyyyy-delicious-cranberry.html

Home

Home

Bleak, dark, starry night…

In my room.

Afraid of                     BANGs,             tremors from within

the walls.

 

Words that pierce like sharp razor scissor sheers.

Wounds that never heal.

Vulgar man.

Worthless woman.

Bastard children.      

You are nothing to me…

 

Leave               and                                     Go.

Bounce, scramble around this lovely circle of what we call                     Family.

Seemingly kind and considerate …

yet hateful with greed and jealousy.

 

Home?

Where the wind blows through the fence, rusty and            sharp.

Judged

Judged

Words seem to label me,

when I want them to enable me.

Exotic.

Brown skin.

Black hair.

W H E R E  A R E  Y O U  F R O M ?

Not this again.

Oh hell                                       no!

Get the Fuck out of my face!

IF you really want to

get to know me.

Don’t try and show off to me.

Trying,

to be all smooth, calm,

charming.

Asshole. People.

If you really want to know me,

talk to me,

get to know me.

Ask me about

life.

About love,

about struggle,

about drugs..

and maybe just maybe

about the men I’d tell you

about the men I’ve fucked.

I’ll let you in,

I’ll let you know.

But if you only care about my

skin color..

Then I must say no.

ABC’s

I just thought to do this A B C’s of me! Just because. . .

Age: 23 January 1986

Bed size: Queen

Chocolate: Milk

Dessert: Halo Halo!

Ethnic background: Filipino American

Fear: Time lost.

Graduation from high school and/or college:  HS-2004, College-2011

Hometown: Dededo, Guam and Everett, WA

Instruments I play: My voice and a little bit of piano.

Job title: Substitute Teacher at the moment.

Kids: None at the moment.

Live: Tallahassee, Florida

Middle name: My mother’s maiden name, Mendoza.

Natural hair color: Black, sometimes dark brown.

Overnight hospital stays: None.

Pastime: Reading, writing poetry, crocheting, baking, walking, running, and working out.

Quote:  ”Sometimes you have to give up what you are for what you can become.” ~Anonymous

Right or left-handed: Right

Siblings: 1 younger brother, and 5 other step brothers/sisters.

T.V. Show: At this moment in time: The Office, The Killing, and The Game of Thrones

Underwear: Yes and sometimes.

Vacation spot I love: Anywhere by the ocean, Hawaii.. or new lands I haven’t ventured to (ie. Europe, France, China, Thailand, Alaska..)!

Weather right now: Hot, 91 degrees.

X-Rays: On my teeth, count?

Yummy meal I make: Pesto pasta and split pea soup

Zoo Animal: Tigers!

Feelin’ Coco-NUTTY?!

Yesterday, I was itching for something sweet, chocolateey, and Coco-NUTTY!

I decided to take some time to bake some one of the first things I ever taught myself, which was Coconut Macaroons!

It only took a total of 30 to 35 minutes of my time and it was well worth it <3

Recipe can be found here: http://racheleatingraisins.blogspot.com/

Enjoy

Writing l-e-t-t-e-r-s !

I think everyone should have some time in their busy lives to WRITE LETTERS!

It doesn’t necessarily mean write letters to people, it generally just means Write L-E-T-T-E-R-S!

In this fast-paced, growing, technology enhanced, overly texting world we live in, people have forgotten to take a pen and WRITE.

It could be anything! Find some time in your days or days to just find a quiet place and sit down… with a pen and paper in hand.. write , jot down, or scribble a few words.

You could journal to yourself, you could practice your penmanship, write the alphabet over and over again, write in cursive… No one ever really writes in cursive anymore, why is that? Is it just cause we are lazy?

AND Yes, obviously write some letters!! Write something to yourself, journal, vent. You could also possibly, write a letter to a family member, a loved one, a friend, a pen pal, any one… And you don’t necessarily have to send it.

Sometimes, its great to get out of your head and just transfer all those creative, crazy, odd, happy, sad, morbid, horrific, spontaneous thoughts onto something substantial…like paper.

Can Ya Dig It?!

It’s always good to do something active with the people you love. It’s fun, it’s exercise, and quite beneficial for happy relationships!

Yesterday, my partner and I got down and dirty in our front yard! All G-rated folks, we started building OUR FIRST GARDEN <3

I dug the beds for the garden. As Indy (his dog),  frolicked around me wanting to play.

I was tired, frustrated, and sweaty because of the  hot sweltering sun glaring in my eyes. Indy all over me wasn’t helping… But I managed to crack a smile after hydrating myself :]

Brannon (My Partner/loved one), chopped the wood and constructed the garden frames!

After hours of digging, chopping, assembling, and yelling/arguing  (because of our dehydration and lack of compliments on each others work, OUR WORK). We we’re done and all smiles

<3

 Info on our garden:

• We used untreated cedar wood.
• Measured 3 x 6 frames, 2ft apart.
• Purchased Eco-friendly weed control landscape fabric.
• We shopped at Lowes and watched this pretty helpful video!

http://www.lowescreativeideas.com/idea-library/videos/Build_a_Raised_Garden_Bed_0409.aspx

My Unborn Baby

I killed my unborn baby.

In a dream that transformed into a nightmare.

He laid upon my arms as I cradled his tiny, fragile body.

His head rested upon my chest.

His cheeks softly pressed against my skin.

Our bodies, were connected as one.

I rocked him ever so gently.

He awakened, suddenly rustling in my arms

                                                                  diaper full and dirty.

I stood up carrying him to a narrow, never ending hallway that was

                                                                             our destination.

He weighed nothing.

                    As he shrunk unknowingly before my eyes.

I found him inside  his over sized diaper.

Drowned and already dead.

His head grotesquely covered in yellow and brown creamy disgusting chunks.

                                                                       My heart fell silent.

                     I sensed his breaths gone.

I pressed my lips against his

                                                        over                   and                   over             again.

I tried to exhale my oxygen into him.

I didn’t want to give up

                                   but I stopped.

I stood there right by him

                                  time seemed infinitely far.

There was nothing that mattered anymore.

I felt                        heavy,                sick,                          lost,                                  weak.

I wanted to scream but

                                                                    I woke up.

Lets COOK!!!

“The appetite is sharpened by the first bites.” ~Jose Rizal (1861-1896)

I believe cooking calms my nerves, tantalizes my senses, and soothes my soul

Last night, I had a craving for some of my Aunt’s Empanadas.  Sadly, I no longer live with my Aunt…Therefore, I had to go online and search for suitable recipes. Plus, since I can’t eat meat made due with some Boca burger for protein. I found one that looked easy enough and this was the end result!

It was delicious, but not as yummy as my Aunt’s recipe of course.

Later, I went back on the site to watch the instructional video (which I hadn’t in the beginning because I felt like I didn’t need to. Pffftt!  I can read) and it was extremely disappointing and appalling to hear the narrator whom was speaking was OBVIOUSLY not Filipino.  There was even some exotic music playing in the background that I thought was just wrong to even add.

I will not be going to that site anymore, nor will I give it credit by naming them on this post.  >=(

I will call family and nag for recipes before I have to submit to someones opinion on how My People’s Food should be cooked.

This left a bitter taste in my mouth, BUT has inspired me to dig deeper for answers.

Ps. Recipe can be found here:

http://racheleatingraisins.blogspot.com/